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From Chef to Strategist

By Ophelia Ong No Comments
From Chef to Strategist

I started cooking at the age of 10. I was always trying to help my grandma out in the kitchen, only to be chased out from it, and became the ‘rebellious’ child of the family. I fought for what I wanted to study when I was 15 years old – ignoring my dad’s advice of ‘how being in the kitchen would mean losing precious time with friends and family’, and unfortunately for me, I had to experience some of those painful moments.

Since young, I knew that I wanted to turn my hobby and love for cooking into a career. However, I learnt the hard way that some things should remain as a hobby (although my ultimate goal is still to have a café and restaurant of my own in the future but let’s leave that for another post).

I got out of the F&B industry in 2015 and decided to take on a whole new path – in being a Strategist here at C27. I know, I know. It’s completely different. Almost scary, even. But it’s not all that bad.

So what does it feel like to take on this role after working in the kitchen for a while? It’s actually same, same but different. Let me tell you why.

1. You Gotta Keep It Together! 

One thing I’ve learned from working in the F&B industry is that teamwork and communication are absolutely essential and that goes the same with being in whichever industry but more so in an advertising agency. Can you imagine an environment without good teamwork? Well, I can’t because that would be absolute madness. Also, without communication, so many things would go wrong. For example, a lot of angry customers = extra revisions needed/a lot of time wasted. 

2. What’s That Tiny Thing?

It is all about the details. Is your dish up to standard? Is it visually appealing? Does it taste good? The same goes for our work, like creating content calendars. Everything has to be cohesive. Don’t do something for the sake of doing it (i.e. making something look IG-worthy).

Like how every ingredient on a plate has to make sense and complement one another, your content calendar should make sense with both copy and visual. Understanding what the target audience likes is important too because why serve something your audience doesn’t like? Also, one key takeaway I learnt from all of this is to check-in with your teammates – are they doing fine? Do they need help and how can we help them to make it work better?

3. Hello, Project Managers. Can I Get Timelines Plis?

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learnt after being in the kitchen is the importance of managing timelines and being organised.

Back in culinary school, we were required to make a timeline sheet for our finals and our work station would always have to be kept organised. That said, being unorganised is a big no-no. Imagine being bad at managing timelines – all that hard work put into making a dish would probably be burnt by now. And if things do go wrong, what are the quick solutions to salvage it? I think learning culinary arts has taught me to always be quick on my feet. 

All in all, my decision to make this jump into a whole new industry has made me realise that there’s really nothing to be scared of. I’d have to give a huge thanks to Fazil for inspiring me to write this blog post. During my interview, he asked, “How can you apply what you’ve learned in culinary, in being a Strategist?”

Well, tadah!

The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By Ophelia Ong
Shit We Do

Advertising Lessons From Westeros

By Matthew Corban No Comments
Advertising Lessons From Westeros

Okay, so. It’s been a month give or take, (at the time of writing, anyway) since the finale. The credits have rolled, the dust has settled and people have navigated the 5 stages of grief to come to acceptance. So let’s reopen those wounds and talk Game of Thrones. Yes, yes, spoilers, duh.

You right now.

Yeah, Jon comes back from the dead in case you didn’t know.

Anyway, they say, “learn from your mistakes” but it’s waaaay more convenient to learn from other people’s mistakes. And fun. So just how did the big-budget series that began so brilliantly end up on fire in a dumpster? And what lessons can we take from that? LET’S GOOOOO!

1. DON’T OVERPROMISE
Number one offender right here.

Fun fact time! Did you know both HBO and Georgie R (blessed be his name) wanted 10 seasons of Game of Thrones at least? However, the guys in charge of the show, David Benioff and Daniel Brett Weiss (henceforth referred to as D&D), were like, “Nah guys, we got this in 7. Just watch.”

Well, that was an oopsie.

So then they had to add an eighth. Yes, that’s right, the 8th season was not part of the original GoT pitch. Tsk tsk.

Your Creatives when you overpromise things.

Likewise for us agency folk. I get it, you want to impress your client and make them happy. But when you promise them that you’ll have those 10 new EDMs developed by EOD tomorrow, you’re only going to disappoint them when you come back the next day at 5:30pm asking for more time. Also, all your Creatives will probably kill you.

2. DON’T GET COMPLACENT
Last words of complacent man.

After putting out 4 solid seasons, D&D seem to have figured that Game of Thrones’ momentum would carry it through to the end. Which it did. Mostly. Hardcore fans will tell you the writing started to smell fishy around Season 5, but most people weren’t too fussed. At least not till the wheels fell off in Season 8. Momentum and goodwill will (ha) only get you so far.

Agency-wise: Winning a new account is great, and you should take the time to celebrate it, but don’t think that was the hard part. Now the real work begins, and if you want a chance at extending the contract you’re going to have to push for it.

3. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT
R.I.P. Tywin. Maybe you should have, a little.

There’s a fun trend of subverting expectations in film and TV now (See also: The Last Jedi [It’s not fun anymore, please stop]). With the two-year gap between Season 7 and 8, GoT ending theories were flying in migratory numbers:

Will the Night King come and kill everyone a la GoT’s ‘everyone you love must die’ law?

Will Jon and Dany get married and rule the 7 kingdoms, incest be damned?

Surely Cersei won’t somehow pull out a win and stay Queen?

What we got instead, was the Night King smashed (literally) in a single episode, Dany’s ‘For the people‘ attitude free fall into ‘Burn the people‘ in two, and BRAN THE WHEELY LEGS NO FEELY ON THE IRON THRONE AT THE END OF SIX.

 Talk about unexpected. And unsatisfying.

You shut your smug face, Captain Cripple.

Agency life is a balancing act between satisfying the client, satisfying the audience, and satisfying your own creativity. Sadly, your creativity doesn’t pay in cash, but the client does – on the condition you satisfy their audience.

So, you’ve got to know what the audience wants to see. If you know what they want to see, you can give them what they want to see, then they’ll watch it and not riot in the streets (or on the internet) and then everyone will be happy and you’ll get paid. Easy-peasy.

4. GET SOME FEEDBACK
Not for long, Your Grace

Hey D&D, maybe you guys shouldn’t burn bridges with Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie. Since y’know, he’s the author and everything. Also, don’t take sole control of the writing for the last four episodes and kick all the other writers off the show. That would be plain silly.

Welp.

Are you seeing the trend yet?

We’re in the business of ideas. Sometimes we need to be in the business of killing ideas too. Yeah, it hurts to smother your own creative baby, but if you don’t cut down the bad ideas, you’ll never end up with a gold one. Getting good feedback builds great things, and great things make people happy.

This doesn’t mean you get to be nasty to your colleagues by the way, be constructive.

5. REMEMBER WHAT YOU’VE ALREADY DONE
Nothing personal.

So in Season 8, Jamie and Brienne have a heart-to-heart talk in the snow where he tells her he’s a terrible person because he strangled his cousin. Not only is he a terrible person, he’s forgetful too, because in Season 3 Jamie caves his cousin’s face in before strangling a guard.

Also Gendry’s bastard name is Waters, not Rivers but I guess he forgot that too.

Just like the writers did.

Anyway, the takeaway is if you don’t remember an idea you’ve done already, and the client does, somebody is going to be having a reaaall awkward conversation when you bring it up again (Hint: it’s you).

6. DON’T HALF-ASS THINGS
Unless you're Team Wheelchair, in which case you just win.

If you need to add a 10-minute segment to the end of your 70-minute TV episode to explain what happened, chances are you’re probably half-assing. Once D&D got busy looking for the next big paycheck, the quality of GoT started to nosedive.

There’s a lot of money thrown into, at and around advertising. You’ve got to make sure you’re worth that money and are always adding value to your client. If you only see them as a fat paycheck, one day they’re going to cotton on to your half-assing and drop you like a hot potato. Unless you work for HBO. Why la HBO.

7. HIRE THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Thank you, Lord of Highgarden.

Oh God, Disney please don’t let D&D have Star Wars, I’m so scared.

For real though, advertising is a team sport. Hire cool people who are nice and who will do nice, cool things for you and your clients. Don’t hire people like D&D who will do uncool, not-nice things for your clients. Because then your clients will be upset and you’ll have to fire them.

Wow look at that, 7 lessons for 7 kingdoms, not contrived at all. Join us next time, when we look at how Castle Black could be building and renting out billboards on the Wall. It’s prime advertising space and no one has figured this out yet?? Come on Lord Commander Snow, try to know a moneymaking opportunity when you see one.

The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By Matthew Corban
Shit We Do

The Roles of a C27 Strategist (that’s not in the JD!)

By Carey Khoo No Comments
The Roles of a C27 Strategist (that’s not in the JD!)

(Source: About Face Illustration)

A little backstory: Unlike other agencies, C27 does not have a separate department for Suits and Planners. We handle both roles, and are called Strategists. So yes, we plan, research, and service them clients. Besides that, C27 also comprises of the Management (of course), Project Managers and two other departments – the Creatives and the Developers. The Creatives make magic with their creative juices and the Developers, well… they code, build digital products, and bring amazing things to life.

Got it? Good – you’re all caught up now!

I’m from the Strategy department in C27 and funnily enough, I come from a PR background. The amazing part about that is how much that skill has helped me grow as a Strategist in C27. People are often confused and lost on what a Strategist does on a day-to-day basis and that’s okay, because half of the time, our job consumes so much of our time that even we don’t even realise the many hats we put on.

So I compiled a whole list of roles a Strategist has to take on, that no one ever speaks of.

1. You are everyone’s punching bag.
As a Strategist in C27, you’re both the Suit and Planner. Most of the time, your job is to make everyone happy. You need to understand the needs of the client and at the same time, be careful to not step on anyone’s toes – that means the client, Creatives and Project Managers (or traffic)! Now the solution to this is to find the incredibly thin line and never cross it. Once in a while, you’ll get shit for it but that’s okay because that comes with the job.
giphy (2)

Similar to the Chain of Screaming, except you’ve got no one to scream at.

2. Your to-do lists never end.
Every day, I attempt to complete all my tasks in my to-do list. And here’s the thing: It never ends. As I’m halfway through my list, a whole new list would miraculously appear. This happens almost every day and you’re back to square one. A full list.
to do list
Here’s something that never happens.
3. Being your clients’ therapist.
Being a Strategist can be emotionally draining at times. It’s as though you have a master in Psychology. Your natural instinct or habit would be to read your clients’ minds and learn their body language over time to know exactly what they want when they don’t really know what they want. It takes a lot of back-and-forth communication, but when you finally get what they want, it feels like you’re in a whole new world.
a whole new world

*Cues Aladdin’s A Whole New World*

4. There is no such thing as “daily routine”.

The work changes every day, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. There are always new things to learn and new challenges to overcome which keeps the work interesting. You might do something you completely hate today and be rewarded with work you enjoy tomorrow. Being a Strategist really is a job that requires you to work with passion and forces you to expand your horizons.

5. You work long hours, but that’s okay.

I mean, what’s new right? Being in an agency automatically means you’ll have crazy long hours. Thankfully enough, we get to have a work-life balance every once in a while during quieter months. Work hard, play harder. Just kidding, though I really am not. It is so incredibly important to have that burning passion in what you do because sometimes, that is the only motivation you need to keep going. Every successful campaign and achievement along the way makes all the hard work and sleepless nights worth it.

6. It’s like maintaining a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Obviously, this is very subjective and highly dependent on the client you’re servicing (fortunately, I have amazing clients). But sometimes, client servicing means dedicating your hours listening, giving suggestions, and finding solutions. You’re signing up for a whole new commitment.

sleep

But all in all, being a Strategist is such a rewarding job in its own ways – from seeing your campaign being a success to understanding what your client wants before providing feedback.

It is a never-ending cycle of work with different results and that’s what makes it great.

The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By Carey Khoo
Honest Shit

How college hasn’t prepared me to be a Copywriter

By John Foong No Comments
How college hasn’t prepared me to be a Copywriter

Have you ever ran full speed into something with your eyes closed? The outcome of that decision hurts, doesn’t it? You feel dazed, disoriented and confused. Well, that’s how I felt when I made the decision to become a Copywriter intern at a digital advertising agency.

Two months ago, I was told by my superiors and peers that I should look into interning as a Copywriter because I had a good command of English and could really write just about anything. I was told that I would be able to make it big in the industry, and adapting to the job scope would be nothing but a breeze for me. Considering all these opinions and suggestions, I decided to give it a shot. But boy, was I in store for one hell of a ride.

You must be thinking, “Eh don’t drama la, it can’t be that bad right? What happened to all the things that you were taught in college? Hasn’t college prepared you well enough for the industry?”

The answer to that question is quite simple. No, my college hasn’t prepared me to become a Copywriter. Here are some of the things I had to learn from the get-go:

1. The type of writing is completely different.

Let’s start off with the simplest of things, shall we? What do Copywriters do? They just write, right? You just think of words, piece them together, and make a sentence right? Wrong bodoh, it’s not that easy. Ever experienced having to take on four different personas within the same day and sometimes at the same time? You begin your day being a persuasive insurance agent, next thing you know you’re a General Manager of a 5-star hotel, then a friendly telecommunications salesman, and finally an avid motorcycle enthusiast.

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Well that was something I had to learn real quick. Having to switch between these personas on command is really no easy task and it’s something I’m truly struggling with. College has taught me about the importance of a brand’s tone and manner, but what the fuck man… I was totally not ready for this.

Next up I’ve learned that copywriting is completely different from ordinary writing. Having good command of the English language can only get you so far. You really need to have a knack for breaking down sentences and conveying the intended message with the least amount of words possible. I’m telling you, this skill is certainly not easy to master. If I could get RM1 every time I heard my supervisor and Associate Creative Director tell me, “Hey John, too much fluff”, I would be ballin’.

In college, whenever you write, the goal is to write as much as possible and be as descriptive as you can. All the big words start to come out and the Microsoft Word count just gets higher and higher. But I’ve learned that when you write copy, all of that is redundant. It’s truly all about keeping the copy short but at the same time informative and descriptive. Sounds easy enough? Hah. Fuck you.

2. Prepare to be mentally and emotionally drained.

Here’s the thing, the writing is actually the easiest part to deal with. Let’s get into the countless revisions and heartbreaking rejections. Throughout my two short months of experiencing what it’s like being a Copywriter I’ve had many encounters with these sayings:

“I don’t think it’s there yet.”

“Could you change this word?”

“Is it possible to turn this four-word sentence into a three-word one?”

You pour your heart and soul into writing a line of copy, crack your brain to concoct the perfect sentence and choose the best words to represent the brand’s tone and manner all to go directly back to the drawing board with a simple, hmmm I think it can be better. Oh mi lord kill me now.

Another thing I often hear would be, “Hey could you help revise this copy? It’ll only take a minute.” I swear to God that’s a lie. It’s never that easy. Having to change one single word within an already well-structured sentence is the definition of hell. It’s really difficult to come up with an entirely different word and have it mean the exact same thing. College hasn’t prepared me to do magic like that… *crawls up into a ball and cries.

“But maybe it’s just you. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this line of work.” I say that to myself that all the time. But that’s just not the case. My supervisors who have been in the industry for a long time come into contact with these kinds of predicaments as well. Granted probably a lot less than me but it’s not something you can avoid altogether. So you best prepare yourself for a whole lot of heartbreak and researching for synonyms.

Why don’t you just grow up and don’t take everything so personally, you ask? Well, that’s easier said than done. Imagine this, you put your heart and soul into creating this amazing painting. In your head, it’s nothing less than perfect and it portrays everything you want it to, then someone comes along calls it ugly, destroys it, and asks you to start over. If you don’t lose your shit and feel like flipping a table, you’re just not human. College certainly hasn’t prepared me to deal with all of this.

3. Learn to keep up or get wrecked.

Last but certainly not least, college has not prepared me for the insanely fast pace. Having to write a ton of copy within a short amount of time is terrifying. If you can’t keep up, you’ll definitely be swallowed whole. This aspect of the job doesn’t help the case of having to constantly switch between different tone and manners when completing tasks. It just makes the job a whole lot harder.

Time management has never been so crucial. Being on point with managing your time is the key to making sure you get all your work done. In college, we were given ample time to complete our assignments; heck, at times, we were given three whole months to finish a single assignment.

I thought (emphasis on the word thought) that this was the norm as campaigns were normally planned months before the actual release date and that enough time would be given to complete tasks. Boy oh boy was I wrong. Everything is literally on high gear all the time. Everything is pushed to be finished as soon as possible and the deadlines are all crazy short.

When I first stepped into the world of copywriting for a digital agency I was blown away by the speed of everything and had to sprint from the get-go to stay up to date. A single trip and fall would result in many late tasks and that’s just a big no-no.

Bro, you’re just writing, why do you need so much time? Type a few words only what, it’s not like you’re designing anything. Eh dei. Fuck you. Why don’t you try coming up with a one-liner that fully explains the entire campaign or how about writing copy for an entire presentation deck while making sure your slides have a beginning, climax, and resolution? Assume it’s easy one more time and we’re gonna have a problem.

All in all, college has prepared me for many things. I’ve learned tons of useful stuff such as identifying consumer behaviour and designing visuals in all the Adobe programs. But the one thing I haven’t learned jack shit about would be what it takes to become a Copywriter in the digital advertising industry. Having to learn and take in countless tricks of the trade from the very beginning while not knowing what to expect was really scary.

But with that being said, I’m glad I got to learn all these lessons during my internship at C27. It really helped me grow as a writer and as a person. I look forward to improving and putting into practice everything I’ve learned. I wasn’t ready to become a Copywriter when I stepped into C27 but I’m definitely sure that I’ll be more equipped and better prepared once my internship ends.

Hats off to my supervisor, my Associate Creative Director, and all the copywriters in the industry. Y’all are truly something special and a cut above the rest. I just hope to be able to reach that same level one day. 

That being said, to everyone who thinks copywriting is a simple, anyone-can-do-type-of-job, I hope you fall off a cliff. ?

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By John Foong
Honest Shit

The Influencer Outbreak

By Audrey Lee No Comments
The Influencer Outbreak

Full disclosure: this article was well on its way to becoming one in which influencers are likened to the plague for 600-words straight, hence the now-semi-relevant title.

But, two days before the deadline, like any stable, sensible person would, I decided to hit backspace on everything I had written and simply share some of my thoughts on the topic. No punchlines, no horrifically misplaced dark humour. (No promises.)

This is a topic I’ve a number of opinions about and while I can’t share them all here in the interest of time and my mental well-being (hello, deadline), it deserves a little more than just caustic commentary on hollow online personalities.

Also because I’m only invested in the things that make me suffer lah (hello again, deadline).

So, I’m writing this with no real conclusion in mind because surprise, that’s what happens when you delete a few weeks’ worth of writing because you need to word vomit on an old topic with a new angle.

If you asked me 10 years ago what the word ‘influencer’ could possibly mean, I would’ve probably said: Thinkers. Teachers. Tastemakers. Trailblazers. (Okay those things, but about 500 times less articulate and alliterated.)

Fast forward a decade later, and what did we actually get?

A wave of 20-somethings shilling shit tea on the Internet. Like, not bad tea, but literal shit tea. Lao sai tea. Tea that gives you the runs because that’s now preferable to actual running to get the body you want.

Anyway, because there are only so many diarrhea tea posts I can take on my Explore page on a near-daily basis, I’ll just come out and say it: I honestly can’t wait for the day the influencer bubble bursts.

(Drinking game idea: take a shot every time the word influence/influencer comes up. You’ll probably throw up by the end of this article, and it would have nothing to do with the alcohol.)

I can’t wait for the day we quit calling people with contrived feeds and low-effort, straight-outta-PR copypasta captions hawking some shit they don’t use, ‘influencers’.

They’re over-glorified ad space, at best.

Not too long ago, jaded by celebrity endorsements, we turned to online platforms to get real reviews from real people with real jobs on real products. Then, like everything on God’s green earth, people found ways to bastar-… Monetise that.

Now, we can all spot when a campaign is in full swing from a mile away: every rando with an Instagram account and insert-impressive-number-here following starts raving about the same thing at the same time.

This usually happens en masse, with an execution that’s as thinly-veiled as it is aggravating.

In other words, we’re back at square one – except influencers peddling products are about as believable as celebrity endorsements, without the celebrity, the personality, and the day job.

I can’t wait for more brands to finally realise that most influencers don’t really influence anything, much less buying decisions.

There probably isn’t a brand under the sun that’s going to be mad about getting a whopping amount of likes and views on a post they’ve sponsored. I mean, even on an individual level, we all like ‘likes’, right? And that’s fine, of course.

But numbers, as we’re all slowly starting to learn, need to be taken with a grain of salt.

Beyond providing online validation for the influencers themselves, and by extension, the brands, do likes and views translate into tangible returns? At least enough to justify the amount influencers are getting paid for every post they put out?

No. No, they don’t. Because a double tap doesn’t mean people are about to hurtle out of the door to buy what you’re selling. Just like how a comment doesn’t mean that they respect you, or how a follow doesn’t mean they necessarily think of you as an opinion leader.

For any of that to happen, a genuine connection to your audience is needed. Once forged, credibility and influence (take two shots because I’m saying this unironically for the first time since 600 words ago) naturally follow suit.

I can’t wait for creators who actually care about their craft, their content, their voice, and their community to get the exposure and respect they deserve.

I can’t speak for anywhere else other than here, but in a market saturated with influencers, we’ve a pretty limited pool of local talent in terms of creators who know what they’re doing and more importantly, why they do what they do.

I suppose it’s symptomatic of a climate in which people are far more preoccupied with the influencer label, strictly for the free shit and not much else. Never mind that a vast majority of these folks have nothing of real influence to show for it, plus the personality and persuasiveness of cardboard.

This is especially obvious to me due to my line of work – seeing the same handful of brilliant creators being recycled and stretched thin for every other campaign, because we’re all clinging onto them like the ray of light at the end of a freeloader-laden longkang. And rightfully so.

But in an uncharacteristic move, I’m choosing to remain hopeful.

Hopeful that we still have quality creators out there. Hopeful that they’ll keep honing their craft as they wait to be discovered. And hopeful that brands will ultimately choose to engage them over cardboard, and make that a permanent thing.

Having said all that, it will be a process.

At the end of the day, this is a trend we’re all complicit in, as brands, agencies, and consumers, and it will take us some navigating before we hop off this bandwagon and see influencers for what most of them really are – do-nothing Internet ‘celebs’.

Influencer marketing is here to stay, though we’re all, slowly but surely, starting to catch on to a lot of the BS that permeates the industry. The seeds of influencer fatigue have been sowed; it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out in the next few years, and how this very landscape shifts.

So, unless our idea of influencers change drastically overnight, the influence they supposedly exert will continue on its downward trajectory of relevance and attachment to reality… Like shit tea.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By Audrey Lee
Honest Shit

Anatomy of Satan Week

By Audrey Lee No Comments
Anatomy of Satan Week

I quite like my job.

It’s one of the very few places that basically pays me to have verbal diarrhoea all over my colleagues about anything from plush toys to cancer insurance to book sales. We call it ‘brainstorming’ in these parts, because repackaging shit is our shit and we’re the shit at it.

It’s also one of the even fewer places that’s completely a-OK with me turning up to work looking three bucks short of homeless, which is my default aesthetic. I call it the Fifty-Three Manuscripts and a Divorce look, for no other reason than repackaging shit is our shit.

These are all great.

But where there are peaks, there are troughs. And every so often, when the planets misalign, I find myself graced by the presence of the Devil himself at work, during a very special time known fondly as Satan Week.

So what you’re about to read, like every horror piece worth its salt, is loosely based on true events (also ‘loosely’ because your girl here would like to hold on tightly to her job, thanks).

Except the bit about the gay dog. That’s all real. Because I could never make that up even if I tried, I shit you not.

MONDAY

Recharged from the weekend I didn’t actually have, I plonk down on my seat and take a gander at my task list for the coming week. At a glance, I can already see that it’s a charming mix of:

  • The Usual Suspects – approximately 666 new tasks, all due within the week or early the next.
  • The Convenient – some account that isn’t my problem, but is now. Yay!
  • The Comeback ­– “Wait, wasn’t this approved months ago?”
  • The Comeback’s Almost-cousin with the Almost-facelift – random project dredged up from The Limbo™ feat. client’s ‘enhancements’.
  • The Euphemism – “Client changed the brief. Not a lot, just about everything.”
  • The Son of a Pitch – because no list is complete without the quintessential crowd-pleaser.

I close my eyes. I open them about 8 seconds later, to my disappointment.

First question: can I get a drink? Second question: glass, bottle, or floor cleaner?

TUESDAY

They were out of floor cleaner.

The good news is, I grew three extra pairs of arms overnight. Perfect. This is actual progress. Now I’ll be able to survive the week. Or strangle myself thrice as fast. Win-win.

I get cracking at The Usual Suspects with my newfound limbs (only 500-odd tasks to go!), flitting between that and a generous side of The Convenient, while intermittently entertaining intrusive thoughts of switching careers to sheep-shearing in Mongolia.

WEDNESDAY

(You actually got this far. Congrats! What a psychopath.)

“The GIF post wasn’t approved.”

“What, why? Isn’t it adapted from their global asset?”

“Client thinks the dog looks gay.”

Two words I never thought I’d have the sheer misfortune of hearing together in a sentence. But here we are.

I stood rooted to the spot, trying to process the mess that realistically only floor cleaner can fix. Something explodes in the corner of the office, probably from the heat of the surrounding hellfire. But I barely hear it. My mind keeps going back to the visual we sent in.

An animated, illustrated pink dog. Wagging its tail, not unlike a metronome. That somehow alludes to homosexuality. And that’s somehow a bad thing. And we’re somehow not in the 1800s. The only other time I was this desperate to unsee something was when a friend shared a meme about how Goofy being a dad would only logically mean that he has had sex.

My last modicum of faith in humanity was laid to rest that very day, finding its place beside my father, my will to live, and virgin Goofy.

THURSDAY

Since it’s #throwbackthursday, can I throw myself back into my mother’s uterus? For science.

FRIDAY

It’s the end of the week. For now. I’m alive. For now. The line that separates triumph and tragedy remains deceptively paper-thin.

It’s late in the day when another incarnation of The Comeback finds its way onto my plate; a series of digital activation ideas the team and I were actually quite happy about but that didn’t quite meet the arbitrary standards set in place by the powers that be.

In other words, a regular day in advertising.

And so, the feedback, in sum:

  • “The ideas are too complex.”
  • “Remember, there’s no budget.” (Never mind that the ideas cost close to nothing to execute.)
  • “Keep it simple. Like a photo contest.”
  • “But it needs to be interesting. And viral.”

The only viral thing we need right now is a new plague. But okay.

I see my boss approaching. I suddenly have glaucoma. I stop seeing my boss approaching.

“Can we have some new activation ideas on Sunday? Plus ideas for the pitch.”

I pack up for the day, looking forward to the weekend I won’t actually have. Can’t wait. Speaking of which, anyone know how much a one-way ticket to Mongolia costs? Asking for a friend.

 

The views expressed by the authors on this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of C27, our CEO, the management, the fish in our fish tank, and/or all the awesome people within the agency. The content and opinions shared are the personal views of the author so please don’t sue us.

…or the author.

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By Audrey Lee