Are manifestos necessary for brands? And are they quite as dubious as the politician ones?

One of the perks and perils of working in an agency means we are constantly exposed to copious amounts of purposes, aims, objectives, inspirational quotes, etc. etc.

In the spirit, however, of every “can we rewrite the copy” we receive daily and some extremely questionable life choices later, our Copywriters decided to just do it and go forth into revisions – of a more fun kind.

1. Niké – Just Do It

Greatness.
It could start with an unshakable gut feeling.
A brisk run. Or a few.
An inextinguishable fire in your belly.
A purposeful squat.
The truth is, there is no hard and fast way to greatness.
Except to begin.
Because greatness is about getting it out as much as it is about getting there.
Greatness is about having the intestinal fortitude to go straight for the throne.
Greatness is about making the first move.
Your move.
Just doo it.”

– Audrey Lee, Copywriter

2. Fiat – Life is Best When Walked

There are some people who simply shouldn’t drive. The people who take charge of their lives – and the lives of others – every time they take the wheel. Chaos defines their every lane change and every turn they make – big or small. It’s not just a cursory disregard of road rules, but unadulterated contempt for them. It is this ability to ignore basic safety with such joy that arises from a relaxed way of life. It is this attitude that is at the core of speeders, double-parkers and red light runners across the Malaysian peninsular. So don’t drive, walk. It’s safer. Just look both ways before you cross the road.

– Matthew Corban, Copywriter

3. Holstee – This is Your Life

This is your life.
Do not “do what you love”, unless you love being broke. Chances are you don’t like a lot of shit, like your job, or not having enough time: congrats on being human.
Stop looking for the love of your life. You cannot afford it in this economy. And no, “start doing things you love” is not a Tinder euphemism. Stop overanalysing – overthinking is where it’s at. All emotions are not beautiful, unless you’re a puppy. 
Life is simple: You work, then you die. Do not be that psychopath asking people about their dreams and opening up your arms to embrace people, you will get punched in the face.
Go travel. Get lost. Never come back. If opportunities come once, wave at them as they pass by. Since life is about people and interaction, please use alcohol as a coping mechanism together. It’s cheaper too.
At the end of the day– life is short, until you have to go to the bathroom…during a meeting.

– Ewe Shufei, Copywriter

4. Gary Provost – This Sentence Has Five Words

I try to write a manifesto.
I begin by writing a moderately long sentence.
And then I shorten it.
Into a few words.
And it becomes
One.
Word.
Pandas.
I interrupt your reading pleasure with a super long sentence that hopefully starts to make some sense.
It doesn’t.
But oh, here comes another moderately long sentence.
I swear there’s a point to all of this.
So I continue on by creating a suspenseful build-up to the big idea.
I then rephrase my big idea into another one-liner.
And end this with a prelude to the tagline that took me weeks to write.
Panda butts are great.

– Beatrice Tan, Senior Copywriter

And, thankfully, you’ve reached the end of this post.

In case you need to contribute to our therapy fund, you may call us at 1-800-The-C-In-C27-Stands-For-Copy.